Everyone knows that Santa is “The Man”!! Able to make toys for billions of children with a 364 day lead time. He trains reindeer to drag a sleigh at superluminal speeds around the Earth. He knows how to get in and out of every chimney in the world, and he hasn’t got stuck once! His belly jiggles with joy when he giggles. He has a magical red sack that he keeps all the gifts for all the kids in, it never gets full, and it only weighs as much as Santa’s back can handle. He has been happily married to Mrs. Claus for more years than anyone can remember (though Mrs. Claus herself knows, she likes to keep Santa guessing and she never gets mad that he doesn’t remember.). He has spread more love and hope around the world than anyone else ever! He is the worlds best craftsman, and can make ANYTHING from wooden blocks to BMW’s with giant bows wrapped around them… but as amazing as Santa is, sometimes he knows that a gift needs to be reallllllllly special, so he calls in a favor and gets a “Little Helper” to step in and make some children’s dreams come true!!
We want to make sure you know, it’s not that Santa couldn’t make these boards himself. He for sure could have, I mean, he IS Santa for goodness sake. But, even Santa gets vexed in the shaping room when he has to take a 6′ blank and turn it into a 4’2!!!! So he called his good buddy Gary Larson, who is always on Santa’s A++ Nice List, and sent in an order for four tiny boards for four tiny good natured people.
Gary jumped at the chance to help his old pal out! So, he went into his workshop and busted some curves out. It took him some time, careful planning was needed. Like Santa knew, taking a 6′ blank and turning it into a 4’2 is a real pain in the wazoo! But Gary is a master, so there was no need to worry! When the foam dust settled, and the surfboards were finished, they were nothing short of wee masterpieces!! Santa was pleased, and he scooped them up lickedy split. He put them in his red sack, hoisted it up on his back. He patted Gary on the shoulder, and told him “Well done!! Thanks for making them so quick… and, maybe next year, we make a little something to make Santa slide slick?? I’m thinking a 9’8″, something all curves and no hard edges… let’s talk next week and you can let me know what you think. Ho Ho Ho!!!!!”
We can’t tell you who they are for, Santa swore us to secrecy, and we are NoT loosing our place on the Nice List… but here are the stats!
The Grey one is 4’2 X15 5/8″ X 1 3/4 “features a 1/8″ ply red/white/blue apple core stringer and a yellow lighting bolt on the bottom an obvious homage to Mr. Pipeline.
The Orange one is 4’8 X 18″ X 1 3/4″ features a 1/8″ ply red/white/blue apple core stringer and a rising sun airbrush on the bottom.
The Yellow one is 4’10 X 16 1/2″ X 1 3/4″ features a 1/8 ply black/white/black apple core stringer and a rising sun airbrush on the bottom.
The Pink one’s dimensions are still a secret, saying them here might tip Santa’s hand… but.. we can tell you it has an 1/8” ply black/white/black apple core stringer and a hot pink airbrush. :)
If you want Gary to make you a board, you can order one from the Hobie Surf Shop in dana Point. 34174 Pacific Coast HWY Dana Point, CA 92629 Phone:: 949-496-2366. Merry Christmas!!!!!!
P.S. If Santa happens to read this, I still really really really would like a piece of a Space Shuttle under my tree this year! xoxox